I'm wearing my smile like I wear leggings

And I do want you to know I'll hold you up above everyone
And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me
I'd be so good to you
I would

For you Louis, the reason of those massive smiles.

This has been my best year so far (in my teenager life of course) I've never been so happy. I'm even afraid of saying this but everything is going so good in my life.

And I have a lot of my happiness to thank to the boys, especially Louis. They're a massive reason of why I'm so happy, always smiling and just a freaking rainbow in general.
Is it bad that my happiness depends on Louis' happiness? Literally. And he's been so happy lately.

I went to their concert, best day of my life.
I've got the movie ticket for their movie (!!!).
I'm going to Holland next friday for 11 days (loads of english and fun).
If my dad isn't lying once more, I'm going to London (omg).
My grades were what I worked for (not bad at all).
My relationship with my mum has been so good. Haven't had problems with her ((her boyfriend)) for a long time. Same with my gramma.
My relationship with my dad has been better, he's keeping his promises.
I have some great friends.
And yeah the rest is literally One Direction. The majority actually.


Yeah life has been good.

Time to start thinking of sacrifices

Did you know, you can quit your job, you can leave university? You aren’t legally required to have a degree, it’s a social pressure and expectation, not the law, and no one is holding a gun to your head. You can sell your house, you can give up your apartment, you can even sell your vehicle, and your things that are mostly unnecessary. You can see the world on a minimum wage salary, despite the persisting myth, you do not need a high paying job. You can leave your friends (if they’re true friends they’ll forgive you, and you’ll still be friends) and make new ones on the road. You can leave your family. You can depart from your hometown, your country, your culture, and everything you know. You can sacrifice. You can give up your $5.00 a cup morning coffee, you can give up air conditioning, frequent consumption of new products. You can give up eating out at restaurants and prepare affordable meals at home, and eat the leftovers too, instead of throwing them away. You can give up cable TV, Internet even. This list is endless. You can sacrifice climbing up in the hierarchy of careers. You can buck tradition and others’ expectations of you. You can triumph over your fears, by conquering your mind. You can take risks. And most of all, you can travel. You just don’t want it enough. You want a degree or a well-paying job or to stay in your comfort zone more. This is fine, if it’s what your heart desires most, but please don’t envy me and tell me you can’t travel. You’re not in a famine, in a desert, in a third world country, with five malnourished children to feed. You probably live in a first world country. You have a roof over your head, and food on your plate. You probably own luxuries like a cellphone and a computer. You can afford the $3.00 a night guest houses of India, the $0.10 fresh baked breakfasts of Morocco, because if you can afford to live in a first world country, you can certainly afford to travel in third world countries, you can probably even afford to travel in a first world country. So please say to me, “I want to travel, but other things are more important to me and I’m putting them first”, not, “I’m dying to travel, but I can’t”, because I have yet to have someone say they can’t, who truly can’t. You can, however, only live once, and for me, the enrichment of the soul that comes from seeing the world is worth more than a degree that could bring me in a bigger paycheck, or material wealth, or pleasing society. Of course, you must choose for yourself, follow your heart’s truest desires, but know that you can travel, you’re only making excuses for why you can’t. And if it makes any difference, I have never met anyone who has quit their job, left school, given up their life at home, to see the world, and regretted it. None. Only people who have grown old and regretted never traveling, who have regretted focusing too much on money and superficial success, who have realized too late that there is so much more to living than this.

This is one of the most true thing that I've ever read and I got so inspired after reading it.

Harry Fucking Styles wrote a song to his lover/boyfriend with the title Don't Let Me Go

Now you were standing there right in front of me
I hold on it's getting harder to breathe
All of a sudden these lights are blinding me
I never noticed how bright they would be

I saw in the corner there is a photograph
No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you
It lies there alone on its bed of broken glass
This bed was never made for two

I'll keep my eyes wide open
I'll keep my arms wide open

Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

I promised one day I'd bring you back a star
I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand oh
Seems like these days I watch you from afar
Just trying to make you understand
I'll keep my eyes wide open yeah

Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone
Don't let me
Don't let me go

Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping alone

This song is obviously perfect and beautiful and I have so many feeling towards this songs that I can't put into words. But what hurts the most is that you can hear the pain in his perfect voice (that btw was made for this type of songs). We know for a fact that it was him who wrote the song and all I can think about is that he felt/feels all of this pain towards someone (LOUIS) and it hurts to know that he's this hurt. Someone as caring and loving and sweet and perfect as Harry should never ever have to go through this.

And we all know that this song is for Louis and that fucking hurts.

Can One Direction please stop with this pop songs and start doing songs like this PLEASE

My salvation

You are the avalanche
One world away
My make believing
While I'm wide awake

Just a trick of light
To bring me back around again
Those wild eyes
A psychedelic silhouette

I never meant to fall for you but I
Was buried underneath and
All that I could see was white
My salvation
My, my
My salvation
My, my

You are the snowstorm
I'm purified
The darkest fairytale
In the dead of night

Let the band play out
As I'm making my way home again
Glorious we transcend
Into a psychedelic silhouette

I would give everything to have all of my first times with you

First kiss. First night out. First drunken mistake. First walk on the beach at sunset. First share of ice cream. First cuddle. First lazy day. First weird dancing. First share of clothes. First I love you.

Home

I'm a phoenix in the water
A fish that's learnt to fly
And I've always been a daughter
But feathers are meant for the sky
So I'm wishing, wishing further
For the excitement to arrive
It's just I'd rather be causing the chaos
Than laying at the sharp end of this knife

With every small disaster
I'll let the waters still
Take me away to some place real
'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone
Is where you go when you're alone
Is where you go to rest your bones
It's not just where you lay your head
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?

So when I'm ready to be bolder,
And my cuts have healed with time
Comfort will rest on my shoulder
And I'll bury my future behind
I'll always keep you with me
You'll be always on my mind
But there's a shining in the shadows
I'll never know unless I try

Last time that I sang this song I was at Home. It was an amazing feeling, it's an amazing song that describes perfectly what Home is. I love her, she's an amazing songwriter, artist and singer. And a really nice girl. I'm completely in love with her album.

I was bored and you were on my mind again (like you always are)

I wish for your presence
to protect me from the rain
and the hot sun that burns my face
I wish for your lips
to meet mine in sweet love
I wish for you to be my first everything
since you are my favourite everything already
I wish for a happy ever after fairytale
with you and only you
my sun and stars
my love

---------------------------

Sometimes I watch myself wishing for impossible things. Like those dreams that can make you dizzy. Or those summer days that you wish you could have back.
But what I wish for the most is the taste of your lips, the touch of your hands in mine, the smeel of your cologne and the warmth of your body. Those are the impossible things I wish for. Those are the things that take my breath away. Like your words would. And like all my love for you always will.

---------------------------

Love, there's some things that I would like for you to know. Would you listen boo?
Do you know that you are the thought in my mind between every fraction of second. The tiny bright light in my eyes that would make them look like the sun (except that you are my sun so how could I attribute that definition to such an unimportant thing?)
Do you know that you are the best I've never had. All this love songs that I had no one to sing to are now the source of all the words that are never enough to describe this love of mine for you babe.

What they tell me

They tell me that
I should follow my dreams
But I know that
They'll do everything in their power
To keep me here
Away from my dream

They tell me that
I have to be patient with you
But what they don't know
Is that that's all I have been
And that even I have limits to your bullshit

They tell me that
I should stop believe in you
But what they don't know
Is that I've tried that and that nothing works
You're in my veins and I can't escape you

They tell me that
I'm crazy and stupid for feeling like this
Over five boys that'll never notice me
But I tell them over and over again
That in 40 years I'll be showing them that it wasn't "just a phase"

They tell me a lot of things
But what they don't tell me
Is that I should stop caring about what they say and think
And start living my own life by my own thoughts

Post-concert depression

The feeling of depression after going to a really good concert. Usually involves depression over the fact that your lives purpose is now fufilled after seeing your favourite band. Also can involve depression over the fact that you might not see that band for a long time.

Symptoms include:
1. The desire to relive the concert,
2. Thoughts similar to "they the band were right there!" or "i'm never going to see them again!"
3. Emotional pain when listening to the band's music.

Post concert depression can last up to a week, depending on the awesomeness of the concert, and, even after a long time, listening to the band's music may cause a relapse.

Still can't hear their songs properly and it's been two weeks today.

STOP THE TAPE AND REWIND

Be a squirrel with me

“So yeah, this is it, and...I wanted to ask, if. If I kept it, would you...would you wanna live here with me? Like the squirrels?” Louis asks, adorable and scared.

“I.” Harry struggles, unsure. Because while it may literally be his dreams come true, he has to consider the fact that this means moving out of his childhood home, which is his safety net, and telling his mother that he’s running away to a cabin in the woods with a strange boy she doesn't seem to quite approve of, and it also means growing up, and when the world treats you like a child all your life, even at the age of nineteen, that’s a very scary thing to do.

(...)

“Do you think maybe this could be a thing? Us living here together? Cause, Harry, I’m so sorry if this makes you panic, but there’s nothing I want more than to just disappear out here with you, for as long as possible, forever, preferably.”

“That, of all things, would never make me panic.” Harry smiles. “But, it’s just, it’s a lot, you know? My mum...would be so angry.”

“So what, though? That woman doesn't control your life, Harry. You’re nineteen, you can make your own choices, you are not an invalid. I know everyone treats you that way, but it doesn't mean you are.” Louis tells him, taking both hands in his. There’s a new scrape across a few of his knuckles, and Harry wonders who he hit, hopes it’s no one, then hopes it’s his father.

“It feels like it.” Harry sighs.

“But look at you. You’re right here making this decision with me. I don't mean that in the way of, like, you’ve decided to live here with me. I mean it in the sense of, like, you’re sitting here, perfectly capable of making your own choices, and that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. Whatever your choice is, I’ll be okay with it, I just. I just thought maybe this could be ours. Always said we wanted to stay out here away from everyone, right?” Louis clarifies, hopeful lilt to his voice.

Harry nods, hooking their thumbs. “Yeah. We did. I just, I dunno. I dunno.” He groans, shutting his eyes and biting his lip. “God, why is everything so fucking hard.”

“Because the world’s a shit place.” Louis answers. “And that’s why I thought this would be a good idea, because you said it isn’t as hard when you’re with me, right? When you’re away from people? I just, I dunno, Harry. I just want you to be happy. That’s all I want. What would make you happy?”

Harry counts his breathing and feels Louis press a kiss to his fringe. He looks up with damp eyes and sniffs. “This.”

“So why not?” Louis asks again, bouncing up to straddle his waist, cupping his cheeks and bumping their noses eskimo style. “Why not, Harry? Fuck our stupid families, and all the rest of the world. This is our happiness. Why should we give that up, just because you’re scared, and I’m angry? I don't think that’s fair.”

“It’s not.” Harry mumbles.

“So fuck it, Harry. Be a squirrel with me, be a dandelion fluff and go on an adventure, be the fly that gets away from the spider web. Be whatever you want, in the whole wide world, and be it with me.”

His eyes are shining and his lips are wet, and Harry lets this feeling consume him whole, finally just lets it all go and surrenders himself to what he wants.

“Okay.” He nods, because no one and nothing compares the the feeling in his chest when Louis is around him. “Okay, I’ll live here with you.”

This was the perfect little cute fanfic. And the perfect little cute part to describe my next year's life decision.
Should I play safe or should I go for the adventure?

26.05.2013

 

I still don't know how to explain the feeling that I had on that day or the one I've been feeling since then. It's like that day never happened. But it did. Oh fuck it did.

I finally made one of my biggest dreams come true. I saw my five boys live. Life couldn't be better. That is all I've wishing for over this six months. That is all I've wishing for since I fell in love with them.

It was pure perfection. I can't describe that day in words (well kdbfoauhvgbcsoahuvcoihfvqowuhvffihvqow would do good) but I can say this: it was the best day of my life.

(fotos da autoria da Becky, eu ocupei-me dos vídeos, mas basicamente só exclusivamente do fangirling)

New glasses, new perspective in life

So I finally got some balls and finally change my glasses! Okay it wasn't really a decision I just reallyyy needed to otherwise they would fall off my face due to over use.

This is my third pair of glasses ever and I've been using glasses since I was 6 years old. At first I was like omg I'm not sure that this was a good choice (after staring for more than 30 minutes at two pairs of glasses trying to pick one - thank you kind lady from Multiopticas that had so much patience for me) but then, after like three days (and a bunch of people telling me how this glasses fit me so much better) I finally gave in and decided that yes, this was a good fucking choice.

So a massive GO to changing sometimes ((yeah changed my blog in honour of that spirit -and cause it was getting old-)).

Now I'm a warrior

Dear nanny,

Obrigada por me dares sempre os melhores conselhos. Obrigada por me ouvires e mostrares que te importas. Obrigada por todos estes anos. Obrigada por aquele dia em que disseste que eu sou "uma miúda lutadora" e que "não te vejo a ires sozinha para Inglaterra" mas "se queres tanto ir não desistas desse sonho, luta, pensa bem no que queres fazer mas não desistas à primeira dúvida ou dificuldade".

Obrigada, és a maior.

With love,
a miúda lutadora